Slob!

One of the dubious joys of using public transport is that, from time to time, you will see someone whose behaviour leaves you open-mouthed. A young, rather well-covered, lad got on the 38 bus this evening and sat behind me. Now, don't get me wrong - I enjoy the occasional trip to the golden arches for a burger - but I wouldn't eat my meal on a bus, because the smell of the burger and fries is quite strong and, on a bus, you're in a confined space..

Our Prince Charming had no such qualms, and I was suddenly enveloped in the smell of the cheese - or whichever - burger that he'd just opened. I moved away to a nearby seat and when he'd eaten the burger and fries, the food wrappings were dropped casually on the floor and he proceeded to belch and burp tunefully his way throughout the rest of the journey. Classy boy. I was going to ask if he did requests, but thought better of it. On leaving the bus, his tracksuit bottoms being somewhat slack around his waist, he treated us to the enticing sight of three inches of builders' bum cleavage. And off he lolloped. I guess that my parents' saying is true: "you're either brought up, or you're dragged up."


I suspect that he is single, and is likely to remain so, because I would be surprised if he would be able to find a mate that would put up his slovenly behaviour. He might consider striking up a meaningful relationship with a farmyard animal, assuming that the animal is prepared to lower its standards.